…make my brain feel agitated. Is this what they’re for?
Think of ‘em as little epilepsy tests.
Babysat last night for the first time since I was ten. The target was some friends’ kid, let’s call him “Sam”. My wife is his godmother. Somehow I was not part of the bargain. Gig only lasted for forty minutes, b/c Dad, was prevented from leaving numerous times by Sam’s panicked shrieking. “Dude, go,” I said, “otherwise I came out here for nothing.” Sam, who normally thinks I’m smart and interesting, was not having me. It was bleak. Dad made a break for it.
And bleak it was: Sam standing at the front door, too little to reach the knob, and too young to put his anxiety into actual words. So it was full-throated screams. That was not so bad. I have at least been around children, and screaming is a standard operational procedure of children. But as I stood there, trying to talk cheerfully, placidly, Sam would forget that he was crying for a second, slowly turn his head to me and then fix me with a look of abject terror that looked like what the words, “I don’t love you,” feel like. I’m still feeling like less of a person for it.
I’m such a sucker. But “Hey Gabba Gabba” saved the day. Thank you “HGG”. And then Mom got back from the airport and wondered why I looked so ashen.
As a TV Baby, I used to think that doctor shows was what old actors would do to sustain flagging careers. I was wrong.
Even way back when, doctor shows is what old actors do to amass colossal piles of cash.
Walking the dog this morning, the AM NPR news magazine (“The Takeaway” they call it, though I like to think of it as “Beep Boop Beep”) was closing up a segment on the four ne’er-do-wells who were convicted of planting some fake bombs, and after dancing around the legal definition of entrapment they get to the point where a good question could be asked. Namely, is there any use in the Feds finding an endless array of idiots to suborn in to high-profile terror arrests/trials? And usually this is where the host would drop the ball — a wrong-way leading question, a hectoring hypothetical — but he didn’t, he said it and got out of its way: “Does the government’s use of informants discourage terrorism?”
And then the guest (some geek from some university I’ve never heard of) forgets himself and imagines he’s on Hannity or in a sports bar: “There’s definitely a chilling effect on terrorists. Recruiting will be much harder if the people they are trying to recruit is wondering if you are actually an informant.” Oh, really, dude? So you think the terrorists are having ad hoc committees looking into the ongoing problems of this chilling effect? It was an unimaginably large load of hooey to brook that early in the morning. And it was ironic that for once the host did not blunder through the interview like a bobo Geraldo Rivera, and the numbskull guest rooons it by trying to Sound Real Smart.
Please bring back “Morning Edition”. Or at least stop entrapping hobos so that the Feds look busy and we all feel safer.
I wish I lived in Kentucky only so that I could vote for Jack Conway a hundred times.
Just for the “self-certified opthamologist ” line. And for general scrappiness.
- Don’t name it Hoobastank
[brought to you by the digital archeological dig of my college computer]
Also, The Pufferbelly is not so good, for a band or anything else.